This week was a pretty okay week i guess :P This past Saturday i had my first official "group date"; and literally it was a good date. i liked it alot actually =] the next day on Sunday was when i had to depart for "holding on" retreat of 2OO9, it was a good retreat. What i was looking for, my goal. i have reached it. it feels good. my biggest and hard decision i had to make was to let go of my past and forget about it. No matter how much i try to run away from it and not think about it; it continues on showing up. either i run away or that person does. but now.. im not going to be in this position. i have learned that no matter how hard i try it wont go away unless im the one who lets go first and forgive and forget. thats what im going to do. no longer will i have to suffer because of this. im going to be the bigger person and move on. i do not want my past to affect the present and also ruin my future. thats the worst that can happen right? This retreat was seriously good, i had a special time with God and learned so many new things about him and his love for me. he is my first love. well duh im talking about spiritually :P physically i do not have a first love so far. but im hoping soon, one day my first love will come. This retreat helped me learn to forgive, move on, and to also hold onto something that will be worth it. if something is not worth your own life, there is no point of wasting your whole entire life, right? I have bonded with so many people at this retreat. the conflicts and negativities i had with my brothers and sisters, i have resolved. no more hatred. no more pain. the only thing now i must suffer and go through is living my life as a christian, live it to the fullest and as best as i can.
No more talking about retreat, i am guessing this is more than enough that i have learned at the "holding on" retreat. hmm, i missed him =) literally every time there was a free time where i get to look outside of the window and stare at the clear sky with snow coming down, he was in my mind. i really do not know why but the thought of him was just there. im really glad that he's in my life right now. he is in a special place in my heart, whom i do care for very deeply. hoping our relationship will grow.. also im hoping his relationship with God will also grow. i do actually believe that if God is not in the middle of my relationship, it wouldnt work out. it always has been like that and always will be like that. so, i came home today, approximately about an hour ago. it was a long drive.. a long time thinking about him, day dreaming of me giving him the biggest hug when i see him. haha. while coming home i was hoping we could go to bomball and hang out for a little bit but then he is currently at the movies with his friends hanging out. its good that he's playing with his friends :P i dont want the relationship that will affect his friendships, i want both to work out. but since tomorrow is christmas eve.. i am totally hoping that we will be able to meet up tomorrow and hang out. i heard that usually on the day of the "eves" you're supposed to be with your love ones.. so i want to try it out this year, since i got a special present =) Well, i shall be going now. ill write more tomorrow, promise =)
Until next time..
Love, this chick right here <3
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