struggles that i've went throughout my life seems like its all coming back to me now, all at the same moment. well im back from my wonderful retreat at the "4-star hotel" x) haha. it was seriously a blessing time. i have learned so much throughout the three days i was there. problems in my life right now is something i can't fix myself except with the help of the one and only god, but the only big problem i have is that how come i cant stop doing the things i want to stop? i continuously do the things i dont want to do, and i dont do the things i want to do. gawsh, if i was a true christian, why wouldnt i be able to have the possibility to stop ? i now realize after retreat that all i can do right now is to continue on trying and constantly on praying.
anyways, today's sermon, from the amazing david chung really hit me hard. it was seriously a touching moment for me, he mainly talked about serving those who you love and whom you hate. i felt so bad because during retreat i was like hating on couple people, today was the day i realized that i should love. i always wonder to myself, how come i feel like im unloved ? this has finally been answered to me. the answer is, the only way i could recieve love, is to give love first. wow, so amazing to me :) haha.
third story of the day, im really falling for this guy once more. but this is a guy i thought i was over with BUT all i did was hide it in my mind. now, i found it once more and i would have to deal with it somehow, but why now? ehrrr. so much struggles and pains throughout my life, but im hoping i will shine out my happiness than the pains.
-JoyceEbenezerChang-
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