busyday man

okay, starting out my day from yesterday. ohkay. so in the morning i got a call from my friend Joseph Kwon who lives in San Francisco, BUT i got a call from him unexpectedly saying that he was here in La. and i was soooo surprised, but anyways. i went shopping with my aunt from about 11 till three-ish. until i had to hang out with him at my mom's mall and thats where i was dropped off ;P so me and him didnt see each other for two or three years, and like always he didnt change one bit :) haha. well we just hung around and walked around the mall just seeing whats good, if i liked it i bought it x) haha. but he is super sweet man,, -0- haha. well after we shoppedwe got soon-tofu and ate it or dinner and around eight-ish he and i had to do our own things, so we said our good byes. later on that night i went over to jessica ahn's house where she and jeesun were waiting for me. we took some darn amazing pictures together and ended up making our own NICE picture frame. its seriously friggen SEXYYY haha x) i didnt know i had that "artist, creative" part in me xd blech, and now me and jeesun were doing ddr all afternoon long. now, im on Jessica ahns computer typing this, while shes at tutoring the cute john park and joseph park jeesun is playing the piano. and now thats the end of todays story ;) so long the year 2OO8 and hello the year of 2OO9;D
-JoyceEbenezerChang-

what a day

all morning long i was at home and watched the movie 300, dang what a fantastic, awesome movie :) haha. well later on the day my parents picked me up so i can go meet up some old friends up at diamond bar ^^ it was so nice to see them again, it seriously felt like HOME. i feel like when im with them i dont have to be someone else except myself. they all know who i am and what i do. i dont have to introduce myself and explain myself to them, even though we all havent seen each other for quite awhile, i still feel like they're really close people. their family and of course themselves, are some very quite interesting but yet important people in my life and will be. dang, sooooo superdooper happy ive met them again :) tomorrow though will be interesting too, imma go get a present for myself and my aunt is gonna buy me, and im get something nice for myself too <3>the curious case of benjamin button with Jessica 언니 and 윤지선.haha, cant wait. OH! im also sleeping over, ha i love that im bragging to myself x) hahaa, dang i feel like a loser now -0- ; imma go and sleep now and ill write more tomorrow <3
-JoyceEbenezerChang-

more ready than ever.

struggles that i've went throughout my life seems like its all coming back to me now, all at the same moment. well im back from my wonderful retreat at the "4-star hotel" x) haha. it was seriously a blessing time. i have learned so much throughout the three days i was there. problems in my life right now is something i can't fix myself except with the help of the one and only god, but the only big problem i have is that how come i cant stop doing the things i want to stop? i continuously do the things i dont want to do, and i dont do the things i want to do. gawsh, if i was a true christian, why wouldnt i be able to have the possibility to stop ? i now realize after retreat that all i can do right now is to continue on trying and constantly on praying.
anyways, today's sermon, from the amazing david chung really hit me hard. it was seriously a touching moment for me, he mainly talked about serving those who you love and whom you hate. i felt so bad because during retreat i was like hating on couple people, today was the day i realized that i should love. i always wonder to myself, how come i feel like im unloved ? this has finally been answered to me. the answer is, the only way i could recieve love, is to give love first. wow, so amazing to me :) haha.
third story of the day, im really falling for this guy once more. but this is a guy i thought i was over with BUT all i did was hide it in my mind. now, i found it once more and i would have to deal with it somehow, but why now? ehrrr. so much struggles and pains throughout my life, but im hoping i will shine out my happiness than the pains.
-JoyceEbenezerChang-

All day long yesterday i was preparing presents for today to hand out at church.i felt once again, ridiculed cause i never get any friggen presents from friends, or even a small merry christmas. guess this actually shows my life is pretty much screwed up.. -ugh- well im goingto church retreat/gathering and imma come back on saturday night probably. seriously, everyones practically getting onto my last nerves. gawsh.
-JoyceEbenezerChang-

I was supposed to post a new entry daily but i guess thats really hard to keep up to. this thing makes me feel like im talking to someone but yet im talking to myself. this site is like a diary for me when i can just look back and see how i felt or what kind of a person i was back then. wow, im typing like no one can stop me x) haha. well first off, im sick. haha, random but yet true. all day long i was watching korean drama filled with multiple episodes, i was watching it non-stop, and no one stopped me x) haha. well later on in the afternoon i went to church to, once again, practice for the stupid musical i was in. -0-. couple more days until christmas ! im thinking about doing something for those that means alot to me, but i know it still wouldnt be enough, i hope they'll still like it =] well thats all for tonight i guess. =/
-JoyceEbenezerChang-

Yesterday was pretty amazingly hectic. so like always, i got into my p-o-mode -0- everything and everyone was pissing the heck outta me. i was later on disappointed in myself for being mad at the smallest things.. oh gooshness.. i was forced to be in the play/musical/dance for the church event.. i was mad, very mad. Later on last night i found out that i also had to be in the leaders/praise team skit.. sooooo pissed off about that too. why cant we just do whatever the heck we want.. why do we always have to be frikken forced? sometimes i hate church for this.. always trying to be a better church by forcing us.. but whatever. thats the past, i have to forget it and start looking forward my crappy future, thats right, right? ugrh. i feel like these days i have no one to trust except like SPECIAL amount of people, i think i give my heart out to people wayyyy too easily.. -sigh- is that a bad thing though ? to have a heart for everyone, instead of just a couple people? i think its not, well unless those people turn their back on you and go against you.. gooshness. i hate this. i hate everything.
-JoyceEbenezerChang-

So far i am loving the christmassy romantic flicks, so awesome :) so, today it was yet a another long day at church, practicing all day long for the dance routine the youth kids are performing on christmas to the church, we are all very excited about that i guess :P my hands are cold and along with that are my nice little feet. my room smells like french fries from carl jr, and im okay with that. oh! very good news though, i finally think i have forgiven someone that i thought i would always despise, i feel so much better now. Also to add with that, todays pastor and his sermon was very much delish :) tomorrow, im going out to my parents store at the mall and work because of how busy it is for all the christmas shopping :O im hoping at least ill get ONE present this year, unlike the other years when i felt LEFT out when everyone gets something.. but i end up with nothing-0- sucks, haha. ouch my liver hurts x) well anyways, imma eat something now :P
-JoyceEbenezerChang-

Saturday, December 20th 2008

Heard about this blog from friends, &thought it was pretty alright to check it out since now xanga has been dead for about couple years. my day was fine, alot of things in my mind though. every movement i make i take a deep thought about it.wherever i went, i constantly kept on having second thoughts about it. dang, i love just letting it all out. i think i've been holding in things in myself for way too long now. my life's hard and complicated. i dont really think anything is making it any better. daily i struggle with something, whether its big or small, i still struggle. my faith gets more and more stretched out. my relationships are getting better, but yet worse at the same time. i have no idea how to handle life at this point, but whatever, i have to shake it off, theres alot more people out there struggle way more than me. -_-. this sucks. BAD.
-JoyceEbenezerChang-