Hi. Want to start off with a sorry :/ i dont know why but youre the first guy whom i always feel stupid if i got you upset.. usually i dont really care what i do or say around the guy i like but for you.. i try to be my best? yeah i know.. youre probably thinking like "PSSHHH, NAW" but yeah.. whenever i got you upset i beat myself up for doing that and i feel SO dumb for doing that to you.. the past two days it was pretty crazy and hectic but yet at the same time it showed how i really felt about you. i now have a for sure feeling that i like you alot.. uhmm.. maybe on its way of falling for you?.. i dont know if any of this is making any sense or not. so i apologize for everything that i did that made you feel in any negativity way.
Today is new years.. thought that it will be a good day, but.. in the first couple hours i already messed yours up.. im sorry again T_T.. when i met you later on today i thought things were okay but i had this feeling that something was not right.. that maybe you're not feeling okay right now.. i asked you.. and all i constantly got was a "i dont know".. that scared me every single time you said that. i asked you if you lost feelings for me.. i got a silence from you. that scared me more. you, not saying anything.. even to that question really scared me. i guess it really is true that one day a guy will be crazy for you.. but the next.. it'll be gone. this happened numerous times.. im scared you might also do the same thing. im trying to tell myself to not think like that and have some hope but then i cant. i can not not think like that until im for sure that your feelings for me are the same and is not decreasing. i want it to increase.. not decrease. it sucks like crazy dude. last night i read your entry.. you dont know how much i couldnt stop smiling.. but then there was today. so what else am i supposed to think? all i gotta say is a huge "what the heck is going on". i want you to talk to me.. but it seems like you were lost there yourself too.. all im trying to say is.. "I WILL NEVER EVER NEVER EVER EVER EVER LET YOU GO". hope that it's the same for you too. whatever is going on.. lets not just throw everything away, yeah?
-whew- i feel SO MUCH better saying all this..
You know better than anyone else of how i feel about you.
just keep that in mind budddy.
LOVE,
this chick right here <3
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