DUHR

its weird that i only log onto blogger on certain times. hmm, shall i say that life is a little bit too over whelming for me ? this week was a little better than last week, but my goal of to not cuss has a little bit worsened. my attitude for other people and how i view them has changed. this week people have either gained or lost my respect. the feelings i had for this one guy has now disappeared and went to the point where i dont give a crap if he notices me or not, but my attention has now moved towards this one guy who already has a girlfriend but i need to refrain myself and start to learn to not care and not get so caught up with all this.. this week every night i read a chapter from the book of matthew, it sort of helped but at the same time the next day i would totally forget about it. My main focus for this week was my future. im scared for my future. literally every single day i would think about my future perfect guy. i just get a feeling that that perfect guy is not really real. and that scares me. i want to believe that God does have some huge plan for me and is really preparing the time for my perfect guy and i to meet but i dont know how to truly really believe that. also the things that has been alot in my mind is money. i want to buy this and that but i cant, i no longer have the money to do that. just now me and my dad had a fight because i was too lazy and didnt want to go out f the house to get the laudry because i look like crap and my dad ended up getting angry and assuming i just dont care about the family and all that. but thats definetly not true, but i cant blame him for thinking like that since i sometime do treat the family as if i really dont care. :/ sucks. So tomorrow night is homecoming night and for this year i am not going. i really want to go out with friends instead on tomorrow night but it seems like everyone is practically occupied tomorrow night, so i guess i have to just sit at home and watch some borrowed movies all by myself. one interesting fact i learned today, this little freshman in my chemistry class in which i first had an interest in but just didnt care later on , found out that he and his girl broke up. so me and reena are thinking and deciding upon becoming a pedophile or not :D haha. today was a pretty okay day i guess, until my dad just bought up the fight in which halfway im annoyed and angry about but at the same time i feel bad. what shall i do ?